lay it down

Pat me on the head, tell me to go to target. “We would rather you entertain us!”

I have struggled to figure out why these comments so upset me, and I think what I’ve figured out is that it doesn’t feel good to know you’re only valued for your performance.

Here’s the thing though, I will not stop talking about this. You are welcome to leave now if you came for entertainment and don’t want the rest of my life, which is that I married a non-black person of color and my children are as well.

I am sad to say it took me a long time to understand racism really exists, and didn’t stop when a law abolished it. The other day I asked Layne, “How much do you think about your skin color ?” He said , “Every day when I walk into a room. Either I’m aware or someone makes me aware.”

I wish for my white evangelicals to understand people over policy , to look into someone else’s eyes and say, “Wow, you must be so tired of this”. Instead, it has become political, issues have become idols themselves. We run to the polls and to the comments on Facebook to make sure our voices are heard, and trample others to get there.

Even our own family.

Believers, we are a family under Christ.

Somehow we’ve made him look like us, vote like us, listen to our kind of music and watch our kind of news.

Is it strange that Your God looks a lot like you? Perhaps we have been worshiping ourselves for quite some time, and I am guilty of this as well. But you must be tired, being “right” all the time. Not being able to change your mind, not being able to question or doubt, spewing opinions all over the place, without genuinely listening first.

Maybe it’s time to lay it down & ask God to show you His heart. He will, he always will to those who ask. In the meantime, I will fight for hope, I will fight for my children and yours.

God has seen me through hard things and he will do it again. I am convinced of it.