Give the Little You Might Have

Holidays often magnify pain in grief. Often a family holiday like Christmas makes those without family feel, well, without. And a couples holiday make those not in a pair feel more alone. Valentine’s Day was once a terrible time for me and so instead of giving you a fantastic quote about marital love , I will say what I needed to hear in my heartbreak (what my 70 year old therapist, Chuck, Told me with unwavering eyes) : Whoever hurt you, dear… it has nothing to do with you. Has anyone told you that yet? It has everything to do with him and God, not you and him. You couldn’t have stopped it from happening if you were prettier or skinnier or quieter or more fun or more enticing or smarter. ☝🏾Chuck, with his thick glasses and tender heart , changed me with those words because it was the way of the Gospel. My worth came from my maker, when he made me and said I was good enough. It was the final word on my worth and it happened even before I was born. And so over time, I stopped owning someone else’s choice to love me or not . I walked out of his tiny , dim lit office about 300 lbs lighter (maybe it was because I cried that emotional weight out for 30 minutes). It didn’t change the fact that I would eat my dinner alone and go to sleep alone , but it was a salve of relief for my soul when I thought I might die from sadness. If your heart is happy today, look alive! Look to find those who are barely making it out of bed that day. They may need to ride on the coat tails of your joy today. Real love isn’t chocolate and loud restaurants and making out(all fun!). It’s just looking up, seeing that you’ve been given life and then giving the little you might have to see someone else have a little life too. ❤️